Steve Case is the director of youth ministries
for Windermere Union United Church of Christ, Windermere, FL.
In the midst of all this, Case does provide a few gems of youth ministry wisdom. Chapters two and three on complaints and complaining are particularly noteworthy. On the other hand, some of the myths of youth ministry (chapter 10) reflect a view of youth ministry as the marginalized ministry that was prevalent decades ago. One hopes that most churches that actually have paid youth ministers have moved far beyond that.
The book is worth a quick read and maybe a review once a year or so as a “pick me up.” The basic outline is below.
1 There’s Always Somebody Willing to Pee in Your Froot Loops
Looking Out for Number One
A) People who pee in your Froot Loops can’t see the ministry for the trees.
B) Understanding
is the key.
C) You’ll
find complainers no matter where you go.
D) Don’t start to question yourself.
E) Remember, God put you where you are.
2 Do You Know What Those @!*# Kids Have Done Now?
Dealing with Church Members’ Complaints
A) Why Complain?
i) Some people are born complainers.
ii) Some people complain toe protect the status quo.
iii) Some people complain because they are uninformed.
iv) Some people complain because they feel bad about themselves.
v) Sometimes there really is a problem worth complaining about.
B) When It’s Your Turn to Respond
i) God sent the critic.
ii) Tag backs aren’t allowed.
(1) Never respond immediately to an email.
(2) Say, “Let me see if I’m hearing your right,” then repeat the complaint back to the person.
(3) Promise a response.
iii) Two magic words can work wonders: “however” and “therefore.”
iv) Find the truth in the matter.
3 Oh, Yeah? Well, Same to You
When It’s Your Turn to Complain
A) The Fine Art of Complaining
i) Make sure you’re looking at the situation properly.
ii) Inform your boss.
iii) Be completely clear and honest about what’s making you unhappy.
iv) Be completely clear and honest about what you want to happen as a result of your complaint.
v) Complain to the right set of ears.
B) How to Complain to a Parent
4 Exit: Stage Left
When It Really Is Time to Go
A) Consider This
i) Everyone has a limit.
ii) It is a job.
iii) You can have a heart for Jesus and still be fairly compensated.
iv) They aren’t your kids.
B) How Do You Know When It’s Time to Go?
i) Pray…a lot.
ii) Get advice.
iii) Listen.
iv) Don’t ask for advice if you’re not going to pay attention.
v) Look before you leap.
vi) You work according to God’s timing, not yours.
vii) Don’t look back.
5 Getting Fired for the Glory of God
When Leaving Isn’t Your Idea
A) Losing Your Job Is Not That Different from Losing a Loved One
i) Denial: Why me, God?
ii) Anger: Why aren’t you helping me?
iii) Bargaining: I need a new ministry job, God. Now. Please.
iv) Depression: Forget it. I’m outta here.
v) Acceptance: I am Your servant.
6 Do Not Ride This Ride If You Have Back Trouble or a Heart Condition
When You Feel Like You’re Getting Too Old
for This Stuff
This chapter just doesn’t outline well. Case talks about the myth of the midlife crisis, but just describes how one often happens. He tells a few funny stories about getting old, then he simply encourages youth workers not to give up just because they are getting older. He doesn’t address the reasons people think about leaving other than “I can’t keep up” or “it’s time.” The only real suggestion he makes it to get someone younger to mentor. This could have been a great chapter, but it’s not one of his best.
7
Religion and the Pomophobic Church
Or, Fear and Loathing in the Board Meeting
This chapter is simply about getting along with other people. The chapter refers to people in the church and from other traditions. The basic response is “try to get along.” Case provides a little help in understanding other people, but his main advice is to just take a deep breath and decide it the ground is worth dying for.
8 Carry My Rat
What? There’s Stress in Your Job?
This chapter doesn’t outline well, either. The phrase “carry my rat” comes from the image of items that cause stress are like rats that run around the office and home. When others try to unload their “rats” on someone, they add stress. Case does a decent job of describing ministerial stress in a like manner. He says that stress is normal in life and in ministry and that youth ministers just need to accept it and deal with it. Learning to say “no” also helps. He doesn’t provide much in the way of dealing with stress except to slow down and rest in and rely on Jesus. Yes, that will help, but he could have provided more. Then, that wouldn’t be keeping with the light hearted nature of the book.
9 Stuff Happens
What to Do When the Worst Thing That Can
Happen…Does
A) Start Here: You Have No Idea What You Are Doing
i) Do not panic
ii) If the student is in danger of any kind, respond immediately
iii) Your students see you has someone who has answers.
iv) Don’t case the wide blanket of “everything’s doing to be okay” over everything.
v) If you’re dealing with a massive tragedy, expand the invitation.
vi) You can’t for students to talk, unload, or spill their grief.
B) Invite God
C) God Is Not to Blame; God IS in Charge
D) You Are Not Alone
10 Myth-Understanding
Some Lies and Truths about Youth Ministry
|
Myth |
Truth |
|
Youth ministry is about numbers. |
Youth ministry occurs in small, quiet, one-on-one settings. |
|
Youth ministry is about office hours. |
You have to go where the teenagers are. |
|
You can “fix my kid.” |
You can’t fix a kid. |
|
Students are servants of the church. |
Students are servants of God. |
|
Youth ministry is about helping youth become nice people |
Youth ministry comes from the Greek for “messy noise.” |
|
Youth should be present for all youth activities. |
There’s no such thing as an inactive member. |
|
Youth ministry is about giving the kids answers. |
Anyone who says he has all the answers is either lying or selling something. |
|
Mission trips are about serving others. |
Mission trips are [also] about turning teens into disciples. |
|
Youth ministry is a stepping stone to real ministry. |
There is no higher calling than ministering to youth. |
Case has presented some nice ideas here. Many youth workers do deal with a lot of these “myths.” At the same time, Case reveals a lot about his own mistakes and toxic situations of the past. A grounded youth minster knows that “office hours” of some sort gives credibility, stability, and connection for a youth ministry. And sometimes there just had to be rules. But, all in all, Case has presented some good arguments against some of the most common myths.
11 It’s Better to Burn Out Than to Fade Away
The Art of Winnowing
A) The 18 Month Myth
i) Case points out that this data has not empirical backing
ii) The average paid youth minister (according to Group) has been at the same church for 3.9 years and in ministry for 4.2 years.
B) Signs of Genuine Burnout
i) No Vision
ii) No Heart
iii) No Prize in the Cereal Box (disappointment)
C) Fixing the Hole
i) Monitor your own spirituality.
(1) You must carve out your own prayer time.
(2) You must be part of church, not just a leader.
(3) You must continue your education.
(4) You must network.
(5) You must take time off.
ii) Remember that this is a calling.
iii) Understand that youth ministry does not involve a method or formula. [Case maintains that while office work is necessary, it is not an office job.]
iv) Remind yourself what your not in this business for.
(1) Not to make money
(2) Not to “fix” kids.
(3) Not as a stepping stone to “real” ministry.
Comments